Mailbag 4: The Dream Master

Mail call! This time, we have a very special mailbag, mainly due to the fact that it's based on actual mail. Gino asks, "I am not remotely allergic to cats, but I am allergic to penicillin. Does that mean I am allergic to cats? And if so, please help me."

I am allergic to cats.

Now the first statement you make is that you are not remotely allergic to cats. Then you wonder if you're allergic to cats because you're allergic to penicillin. One of these seems highly improbable; I'm sorry to inform you that you are allergic to cats. Delivering this news to you is a terrible burden. Now you have to be careful and avoid cats, like me (I'm allergic).

I'm so allergic to cats that one time I was reading Joseph Heller's Catch-22 and my hands spontaneously set on fire.

I couldn't think of a Catch-22 involving my hands being on fire.