I'm Allergic. (to cats)

I'm allergic to cats.

Evil Cats Throughout History: The name Napoleon Bonaparte is rife with controversy, and the life of the French emperor and general has been subjected to intense historical scrutiny. One of the more interesting recent revelations (Broadwick, 34) is that Napoleon was not a short man, as is widely thought, but instead a tall cat.

In actuality a British Shorthair whose owner dressed him up in a little French soldier suit because he thought it would be cute, Napoleon used his uncanny resemblance to a human to run away to lycee and then the Ecole Royale Militaire. Decades later, the Bonapartes were startled to find themselves subjected to the rule of the household pet they assumed had been eaten by a puma; however, Broadwick notes that Monsieur Bonaparte rolled with the punches quite well and eventually wheedled a minor dukedom from his old companion.

Now I'm allergic to Neapolitan ice cream.