I'm Allergic To Cat With Knife In Suit, Singing With Cab Calloway Voice

I'm allergic to cats. Recently, we've been getting a lot of email that accuses me and Hates Cats of intentionally setting up scenarios in which either cats or the Transitive Property of Allergies will negatively affect us, just so we have stories to write about. This is a cruel and baseless allegation. Cat allergies are a terrible burden, and we just want to inform the world about the suffering of our people, with collected and quiet dignity.

So there I am, minding my own business at the cat shelter, when suddenly my allergies kick in.