I'm Allergic To Love

I'm allergic to cats.

Evil Cats Throughout History: Did you know that Javert from Les Miserables had a cat? She was a Chartreux named Darryl Strawberry, a particularly prescient choice of name. Anyway, at a certain point during the Valjean manhunt, Javert was like, "I don't know, maybe wasting untold French resources during a revolution to chase a minor reformed parole violator is a terrible use of my time," and Darryl Strawberry was like, "No, Masssssster, we musssssst catch him!" and she got him all riled up again, misleading Javert back towards the concatenation of events that led to his suicide. Rumor has is that Darryl Strawberry reacted to Javert's tragic jump into the River Seine by shrugging, ordering "One ssssssaucccccer of milk, and ssssssome of that tuna", then giving herself a bath.

I can't say this enough: cats do NOT care about you.