I'm Allergic To Cats

So, I've never told this to anyone before, but I'm allergic to cats. How allergic am I, you don't ask? Herein, my response.

One time, I had caught John Doe and he took me and Morgan Freeman to a field. He had a package delivered. Chutzpah! "Don't open the box," Morgan cried. "John Doe has the upper hand!"

Anyway, boys will be boys and imagine my consternation when I opened the package and a tiny black kitten hopped out. He began playing with a little ball of yarn. I looked at John Doe and a little smile crinkled up on his face. My own lips broke out into a grin. "Maybe I was wrong," I said. "Maybe you're not so bad."

Then a picture of the cat fully grown flashed in my mind and I shot John Doe in the head.